The transition into this New Year, this New Earth, was unlike anything I have ever felt before. For so long now I have been anticipating what has now come to be called by many throughout this world, ‘The Event’. I first began to feel this shift in my body throughout the weeks leading up to the Leo Solar Eclipse in August of 2017, as though the solar flares occurring were not happening outside of me, in the solar system, but inside of my body, inside of my Heart. Pounding. Rippling. Some moments it was exhilarating and others, all that I could feel was the tremendous, unsettling pain of having everything I knew about myself and my ‘reality’ being stripped away.
I suppose the two occurred simultaneously, disguised as differentiating or separate experiences. In truth, it is all the same. Who is to say that breaking free from illusion is not both painful and electric. Yes, it can feel like pain, but pain is just another word, another definition we as a collective have created to deny ourselves the embrace of it. This is all pain wants, after all. Attention. Receptivity. Gentle, loving care. Just as when we are physically purging, we hope for others to take care of us, emotional pain is looking for the very same. So why ignore it in hopes of its dissolution. Though it may not always seem like it, pain has a story of liberation to tell, and all we have to do is relinquish the urge to control it, to suppress it, to escape from it, and so it shall be told, received, and heard.
What is your pain telling you now? What is it asking of you? Why do you feel as though you must run from it when you know within your Heart it can not be escaped? Yes, embracing it may be frightening because it will be asking you to make some changes that your mind is not yet open to even considering or comprehending. There is no need to get intimidated. Or, you know, get intimated, feel your fear, but know that the emergence of fear is not an invitation to retreat back into the illusion. Not by any means. Often, we avoid exploring our pain because the underlying impulse for change that this pain reveals seems to always come with some kind of burden of responsibility. The moment we become aware of our pain, our unfulfillment, our apathy, it becomes impossible to ignore and this means embracing the fact that something needs to change. It is so easy to jump straight to believing that this change needs to be something drastic, and because we are made to believe we are doing everything ‘on our own’, we once again, attempt to turn away from and ignore the pain.
But here’s the thing.
You are literally never alone. Not in actuality. So what this means is that not only do you have to do anything drastic, you also do not need ‘make’ any changes. That work is happening regardless. Your part, loved one, is the allowance of whatever is already organically unfolding. That’s it. Just get out of Your way. It only becomes difficult when we are resisting that which only seeks to serve us. So today, can you choose to trust what is? Even if it’s painful? Even if the mind can not yet understand why? Initially it may feel as though you are sinking and that there is nothing to do but drown and here in this space, you will soon find yourself entering a brand new reality, one that you have created, one that is most perfectly designed just for your pure enjoyment and liberation. You will embrace this new world as yours because you will have embraced the last of the pain that was never truly yours to carry. Can you let this moment be now? Can you choose for this feeling to be yours to hold, right here and now? Can you, right now, choose to close your eyes, to cradle your pain, and in the very same moment, to feel its liberation as your own? Of course you can. But it is has never been a matter of ability, but more so, a matter of willingness, and now, here, we find ourselves coming face to face, Heart to Heart, with the Leo Lunar Eclipse. Ah.
Here we are.
The Surrender of Illusionary Control.
This Lunar Eclipse is rather interesting, not just because it is a Blue Moon (meaning that it is the second Full Moon that occurs in one month), or a Super Moon (when the Moon is prominently closer to the Earth), but because it is making very few aspects and this is often not the case with such prominent galactic events. But this is what makes it all the more potent, focused, and true to essence, because when something is un-aspected, there are no other factors influencing its expression. Of course, there are a few, but we’ll get into that.
Symbolically, Eclipses are cosmic catalysts that launch us into accelerated periods of cathartic transformation and healing, whether or not we believe we are ready for it because in truth, we always are. Take a moment to think back to how you felt throughout the month of August last year. What was being processed, initiated, and cleared during this time and how does it correspond to what is unfolding now?
What has changed? Is anything at all the same as it once appeared to be?
I feel not.
Full Moons always signify a time of release and separation, because during this time the Sun and the Moon, the archetypal Father and Mother, are the furthest away from one another, symbolizing the external reflections that emerge for us when we have been denying or rejecting aspects of ourselves. These buried pieces come to light, in order to be embraced and welcomed home, once and for all. Sensitivity is heightened, and in turn, so is an underlying tendency to react to the triggers that emerge in the outside world. But here, our power lies in our choice to respond, rather than react. Reacting often entails reflecting or exacerbating what is occurring externally, whereas in the choice to respond, we have the power to completely re-define what is being brought to light and thus, use it to fuel our personal empowerment and sovereignty.
During these heightened states of sensitivity and receptivity, we are often called to release something that has long been ignored, denied, rejected, and buried; whether it be a crystallized thought/karmic pattern such as guilt, regret, or shame, a way of self-expression that is inauthentic to our true nature (especially because after all, this is a Leo Lunar Eclipse), a relationship or job that does not fully honor our purpose here, whatever it may be, we will soon find ourselves parting with what has served its purpose within our lives. Look to what house this Moon is transiting and what aspects it’s making to other personal planets for more specificity as to what you may be completing and in turn, releasing.
As this is a Leo Full Moon, we are being called to release the personas, the roles, the characters we have both accepted and created, that do not allow for us to embrace and express our most authentic, liberated, and genuine Self. You know, the Self that lies beyond a persona, a role, a character created to appease others, the REAL You. The most beautiful, divine, and holy You. The only You there could ever be. You know who I’m talking about. It’s time to come out of hiding. And here’s the thing… we all have a different way in which we ‘prefer’ to hide, whether it be physically remaining withdrawn and alone (which is healthy and needed, though with balance), or, solely living through a mask or persona we have created because we subconsciously fear not being likable or worthy enough of being who we truly are. In the many ways we hide, it all comes back down to not feeling safe within the ‘public’ sphere of the world.
It is in truth, understandable that we internalize and tailor ourselves to these roles, because it is only what everyone else around us has done. And the only reason why they had done so was because it is what everyone else was doing as well. So the cycle goes round and round and round until we choose to remember that this is just not what we came here for. We say no more fucking around, no more hiding, and we embrace who we are to the fullest, regardless of whether or not we’ve been made to feel as though who we are is not ‘good enough’. Good enough for who, this Leo Full Moon asks? Good enough for those who are living an illusionary life of role-playing themselves? Ha.
It’s so important that we know at this time, we are always more than ‘enough’. On our ‘worst’, most anxious and distressed days, we are more loved than we could ever imagine or even begin to comprehend. Whether or not we choose to believe the unkind ideas about ourselves we’ve internalized from others’ projections… we are so, so, so deeply loved. And the only way we will truly ever know this to be an indisputable truth is by choosing to embrace who we are, as we are, wherever we are, because no matter what this looks like from the outside, as long as we are present and honest with ourselves, we are doing what we came here to do—being ourselves.
So… why the role? Why the character? Yes, it can be fun to pretend. But only when we know we are pretending. Sometimes we get so sucked into these roles that we forget they exist, in turn forgetting that the True Self exists underneath them, and this is when the unconscious suffering begins. The ‘fun’ of being someone or something else becomes a constant obligation to which there seems to be no end. Why the suffering? Because pretending to be anyone or anything other than our most natural and authentic Self is exhausting and it is never truly worth it. Yes, we have long been made to feel as though who we are is not enough, or that it is ‘too much’… whatever the hell that means. But that doesn’t matter anymore. It never truly did. Now, we’re using our fears of not being worthy enough, of not being lovable, to charge our Heart based, authentic expression of Self. We’re using what once appeared to have stifled us to our advantage and this is the truest magic there is.
Take a moment to reflect on this. Where have you been feeling stifled? Frustrated? Inhibited? Discouraged from expressing Yourself without limitations or restriction? This is what needs gentle exploration, acceptance, and afterwards, unapologetic release. You do not need the mask, the persona, the character, the role, none of it, any longer. You never actually needed it, others just convinced you that you did because they themselves were so deep in their own illusionary roles, for the very same reasons you once clung to them.
Now, you get to be the breaker of cycles, the slayer of falsehoods, the catalyst for the suppressed Self to come alive, at long last. In doing so, one beautiful individual at a time, we will be creating a collective force that truly honors and embraces one another’s differences, knowing that they each contribute something sacred and essential to the whole. We simply can not wait around for the collective to get it right because within this collective is a widespread number of individuals who are terrified of being just that—an individual. So, it starts with You. It always starts with You. Step into your divine Leadership, here, now, today. You are in the midst of anchoring in an entirely New energy through the collective, one that will shift the way the collective as a whole operates on a grander scale than you can even begin to imagine. You’ve felt misunderstood, out of place, like an outcast for all of your earthly life? Good. This Event was created for You. And it calls You now to step into Yourself like never before.
You, yes You, are being called to lead the Way, by embodying the Way. In each moment you choose to embrace and express what feels most authentic to You, no matter what this looks like, You will be inspiring others to do the same. This is what You came here for. It’s time It’s time It’s time.
If you aren’t quite sure of who You are, becoming clear on this alone is the most powerful thing you can do for yourself at this time. We can not begin to shed what is not authentic to ourselves if we aren’t sure of where the falsehood ends and we begin. So by daring to admit that yes, I do not know Who I Am, or what the fuck I’m doing, is the most wonderful and courageous beginning there could be. Here in this space of radical honesty, anything and everything is possible. Honor yourself for being here, as this is true bravery. Right now in this moment, are you willing to dive into not knowing who you are? Are you willing to be cleansed of the persona, the character, the illusionary identity, again and again and again until there is nothing left but You, at your very essence? It is time to leave the definitions, the labels, the characterizations behind. You won’t need them where you’re going.
Yes, the uncertainty, the doubt, the insecurity the guilt, it will emerge from ‘time’ to ‘time’, especially in the beginning. But please, for the Love of You, do not confuse this for a reason to go back into hiding. New Earth needs You more than ever. You are ready to shine brighter than ever before. In doing so, you may begin to notice old ‘friends’, lovers, even family, acting with passive envy or resent. Again, do not confuse this as a reason to go back to hiding your power, your magic, your dazzling, brilliant light. For the few that slip away, there will be hundreds, even thousands more that are inspired, uplifted, and encouraged by Your Choice to embrace who You are without apology or shame. Remember, if there are others who appear to be threatened or resentful, it is only because they have yet to step into themselves as you are now choosing to do. Even if it goes unsaid, You will be inspiring them in some way as well. Know this. Trust this. Even if ‘they’ don’t. This is all for You.
On a final note, I want to touch on the primary aspect that is being made, that being, the Leo Moon quincunx Neptune in Pisces. The thing about this aspect in particular, the quincunx, is that it always calls for an adjustment of sorts. Here, it is between the need for the ego, the sense of self, to be in control (Moon in Leo) and the unrelenting Truth of how the most powerful form of control there is on this plane of existence is in fact, Surrender to the True Self, the All That Is (Neptune in Pisces). The two in such a tight aspect signify that we are being called to surrender to the Highest Self, who is now gripping the reigns and leading the way, regardless of whether or not the mind is open to this apparent shift in power dynamics just yet.
Initially it may feel like ‘you’ are spiraling out of control, but this is not actually truth. It’s just that the mind and the ego both have an insatiable desire to be in the driver’s seat at all times, and this is just not what’s happening any longer. So it’s only understandable that they may throw some temper tantrums throughout this process. Let them. Hold them and remind them that they are safe. With patience, devotion, and trust, they soon will adapt to your Heart taking the lead. Give them time. For now, practice opening your Heart to what the mind can not yet see or comprehend. Soon, it will see. Soon, it will know. What leaves you now has served its purpose and though it may be painful, as all separation is, know that somewhere else, on another plane of existence, another aspect of Yourself is giving whatever it is you are releasing now the sweetest hug. What is occurring now, is the merging of all aspects of the Self, on all planes of reality, because we are all coming back to each other, back to Love. Trust that it is safe, above all, to surrender to what is unfolding within and without. It is all for the remembrance of You.
Your power is rising, returning to its rightful place within your sovereign Heart.
Can you feel it? What does it ask of you now?
With all my Love,